Do you still have a rebellious teenager within?
I used to have a voice in my head that repeated "I don't care" all the time, specially when I didn't get what I wanted. I remember having an upset with a co-worker and all day at work I would hear in my head "I don't care! I don't care!". It makes me laugh to think about it now!
It wasn't until I read Dr Dain Heer's book Being You, Changing the World that I was able to release the trapped teenager and let my caring to be greater than pretending not to care. Truth was I cared more than I could admit it and couldn't let my walls down in fear of getting hurt. On chapter 5 What if Caring Were the Core of You? Dain Heer asks expanding questions like " What if you care far more than you've ever wanted to know? What if you care far more than you've ever wanted to acknowledge to anyone, including you? And how much have you decided that it's that caring that has gotten you into trouble? That your intense caring i what makes you weak? And, is responsible for your hurting and your pain?"
I learned how, even though it was subtle, I was still functioning from defense and separation. When I was cutting off caring for others I was cutting off caring for me too. I didn't realize how much that was destroying my joy of living. What if I could allow ALL my caring for myself, for others, and for the world to BE regardless of other people's choices? It was a subtle change that created big waves of joy and connection!
Further in the chapter Dain writes about demanding of self, kind of a proclamation to self.
He suggests making a demand that all our caring shows up now making living here total joy.
If everyone had one hundred percent caring for themselves and others would violence exists?
We learned to be upset with people. It becomes a behavior, something that we do automatic. What if we didn't get manipulated, intimidated or separated by other people's choices?
"How many choices are you making that don't really work for you, because it is what you were taught you were supposed to do? Will you destroy and uncreate all that now please?..."
Thanks Dr Dain Heer for writing in a such a simple clear way! I am grateful to you!
You can purchase his book on Amazon.